Time when I wasn't me...

I remember the time when I was three and nearly survived an accident with a speeding car. I remember mamma buying nail polish at a store. I remember the drive back. I remember having an argument with a boy at school, and the fact that i had the last words, it was all about who would sit next to the 'cute' girl. I remember the goa trip, and all the fun we had trying to dodge the waves that always found us. I remember flipping through all the picture dictionaries in amusement. I remember the jig-saw puzzle that i never managed to complete without my dad's help. I remember the fancy dress competition, when my cousins dressed me up like a cat. I remember walking out on the stage amidst strange and confused looks from all my friends. I remember wondering how one arrived at a date for a birthday. I remember the festive nights when all of us came together to celebrate, and the delicious dinner that followed. I remember the aunt form the neighborhood trying hard to teach us 'good manners'. I remember the sweets another neighbor's mum made, and how she waited for us to leave so her children wouldn’t have to share them with us. I remember my friend climbing on a sofa and claiming she was taller than me and I trying to find a higher surface to 'outheight' her.

But I don't remember that I have an assignment to submit today, not until I have reached class. I don't remember to share 'that' information with my friends. I don't remember wishing my best friends on their birthday. I don't remember that my cell phone is running out of balance and that I need to recharge soon. I don't remember that I don't remember things.

Its possible that my memory has started failing me because I am living a parallel life inside my head that is slightly removed from the reality around me. I am possibly caught up between who I am and who I want to be. Its also possible that my brain has involuntarily decided that the so called important things in my life are no longer worth remembering. My mind shuts down when it comes to remembering the horrible things I have done in the past or the unpleasant facts of life. Its possibly because I have decided to forget every second of the time when I wasn't me.